Peer Pressure
The teenager does not give in to peer pressure. Really, he's quite happy doing things just because everyone else is doing the opposite. This is not a bad thing. I want him to be his own person, I really do. But here's the problem. The teen has really been on the fence about getting confirmed this year. Since our stupid bishop (I refuse to capitalize) changed the rules for Confirmation, the teen is expected to get confirmed this year, a year earlier than we/he had been thinking he would for his whole life! I think, given another year, the teen would have decided to go ahead. He's really close. Last night at Youth Group, the teen found out that only himself and one girl in his class are still on the fence about being confirmed. During the closing prayer, one of the kids who is being confirmed said that those who are holding out just need to "get it"that they just need to figure out that this is what they need to do. Well, as you can imagine, this did not sit well with my teenager. He doesn't want to follow the crowd. He doesn't want to do what his peers tell him he should do. And really? It's very difficult for me to tell my kid that I think he should be confirmed into a church that is being led down such a slippery slope I'm not certain it can recover.
Really, what I need to do is get over whatever feelings I have about him being confirmed and let him figure it out on his own. I'm trying, but it's so hard...
posted by Marlene at 9:29 AM
4 Comments:
I KNOW it's hard for you. And I can't say I wouldn't feel the same way in the same situation. But just hold on to the fact that he does NOT give in to peer pressure, that he DOES think things through and that if he won't give in on something this big - it's highly unlikely he'll give in on ANYTHING. That is such a huge positive thing. Even if he doesn't get confirmed this year, it doesn't mean he won't EVER get confirmed. It just means he'll do it when HE is good and ready. Good for him.
In the end, it's better he's confirmed because he wants to anyway. If he's truely thinking it through, good for him. I admire him for that.
So, really he doesn't "have" to be confirmed this year?
Seems to me, but not being Catholic, my thoughts might not weigh much. I think it would be best for him to make the dession for himself only he will know when he's ready to make the dession to be confirmed. I'll be praying for strengh for him to stand firm, and peace for you.
No,Janet, he doesn't ever "have" to be confirmed.I don't think he'll make the choice as a teen unless he does it now becuase it will be more difficult. The kids being confirmed next year will be third graders. I don't think he'll want to join them. There are adult practicing Catholics who have never been confirmed for whatever reason. And I totally get it's his choice, just like it's a kid's choice to get A's instead of F's, but you still want, as their parent, for them to do what you want them to do, right?
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