4 years...

Four years ago today I lost one of the most important people in my life, my grandma.
My grandma was 40 years old when I was born to my mom, who was a 21 year old single mom. Finances dictated that my mother go back to work when I was 2 weeks old, so I was essentially raised by my grandma. Add in some poor life choices and a brother who followed me by only 13 months and it is easy to say that my grandma, for all intents and purposes, was my primary caregiver for much of my young life.We were amazingly close. She was so wonderful. An good hearted Christian person. Everyone who ever met her adored her, loved her, cherished her. She never met a stranger. She was a great cook, seamstress, friend and companion. She coddled and loved her great grandchildren with a passion and was especially delighted with my children.

She fell and hit her head and had a stroke on August 26th, 2002. She was perfectly healthy before that, at the ripe old age of 73. When I saw her in the hospital that day, even though she couldn't open her eyes, she knew who I was and that I was there. When I was leaving she told me to "Make sure I told the kids that she'd been air-evaced and got to ride in a helicopter. They'd love that!"
She took a turn for the worse overnight and had a second stroke. We (Mark and the Princess and I) spent the day at the hospital the next day. The Princess was still breast feeding and needed to be with me and there were plenty of family members there to help care for her. We sat with grandma and I sang to her, her favorite song "In the Garden" and I sang to her a song she'd never heard, but seemed fitting, "I Can Only Imagine". She died with her children and grandchildren surrounding her and telling her how much we loved her over and over. It was the single most difficult day of my life to date but a beautiful ending to a life well lived.
In the waiting room after she died we were all sort of lost, not quite knowing what to do, but watching the Princess pull herself up everywhere and take a step or two. She was 11 1/2 months old and getting ready to walk, but not quite there yet. At one point shortly after grandma died, she stood herself up and walked alone for the first time, right toward the doors to the area of the hospital where grandma had been. She walked from then on.

Mark took the Princess and went to pick the other kids up from the various spots where they were situated. He put the Princess in her backwards facing car seat and the two of them drove off. As they drove out of the parking lot, the Princess started talking and laughing like someone was playing with her. Mark, who was very close to my grandma as well, said he then heard my grandma's voice tell him to "love and take care of his family". I know she was in the car with them, playing with the Princess, just like I know she helped the Princess walk and I know that every day in a million ways she's watching out for me and my family.
I love her and miss her every single day, but I know that she is in the place she wants to be and that we'll see her again in that place and it will be a very happy reunion.