Cub Scout Hell

Have you ever been in a situation with a group of people where you just think, this is so surreal it must be a nightmare because these people cannot exist in real life?
Our Cub Scout pack is the most bizarre snippet of society I've ever encountered. What follows are real and accurate descriptions, not at all exaggerated for comic effect.

The Cub Master- 50 something who feels the need to dye his hair an "interesting" shade of blond. He obviously does it at home himself as you can see by the orange undertones running through his hair. He does not actually have a child involved in scouting. He makes up all the cheesy songs they sing at every pack meeting. He also devised the adult Pinewood derby competition and builds his own car to enter every year.

The Secretary of the Pack- 40ish woman, loud and obnoxious. Scouting is her life as is evidenced by the vast amount of time she spends calling my house for freaking details that could wait until I saw her again. A glimpse of her true personality? She pulled her kids from the school my children go to because her son was suspended for calling a teacher a "butthead". Her quote? "I could see him getting a warning or something, but a suspension? That school is too strict!"

Our Den leaders- Husband and wife, late 20's. He works as an electrician. She's a secretary. His claim to fame? How many times he's passed out in hot attics and how many concussions he's had from falling out of attics. He's a few napkins short of a picnic. His wife? Big-haired, gum popping, constant sun glass wearing, completely oblivious to her two bratty kids wreaking havoc everywhere they go. They are in charge.

The rest of our den? With the exception of one other mom from our school, they are people who love to camp (like not just for cub scout events! ewww!!!), hunt, play with guns, drink lots of beer daily, watch car races, and make lewd jokes. They are raising boys who are exactly the same. Needless to say, we a definitely fish out of water in this environment.