I've Fallen and I can't get up...
I'm in a funk right now. I am just feeling so deeply sad. Christmas is usually my favorite time of the year, but I can't wrap my heart around it this year. It's about all I can do to get out of bed this week, much less do any of the things I really need to get done.
I don't really know what happened. I was happy this weekend watching my girls dance. I think that the reality of the situation with Bubba maybe didn't really hit me until all the commotion from the weekend was over. I really want to enjoy this time with him, but it keeps coming back to me that, if things go according to the current plan, he will not be home next Christmas. And my heart can't bear that thought. Not only might he not be here, but he'll be fighting a war that started when he was 11 years old and hadn't even a thought of joining the military. My heart is just hurting so much right now. I think also, the reality of him leaving in January is so much closer. Christmas is next week and that really has been the benchmark. He's leaving after Christmas. Well. Christmas is almost here. And I don't want it to be. I don't want him to go. With every fiber of my being I want to keep him home with us. And I can't. And it's killing me.
posted by Marlene at 8:41 AM
2 Comments:
I wish I had some magic words that would make you feel better, but I don't think there are any. All I can tell you is that we are all here for you and love you and understand as much as we can. *hugs*
I know I'll be a basket case when J leaves home, I know the feeling. But giving God our fears helps to not borrow any worry, but just trust in him. Of course you have a great church, family and wonderful friends that will be praying for you guys.
Try thinking the Christmas season as a chance to really enjoy him and know that next year if he is in Iraq God will hold him close for you.
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